Advice for OVER 40s Who Have Faltered in Life | Jordan Peterson Patreon Q & A

Jordan Peterson offers advice for those who are over 40s who have already faltered in life. The key is to go over your life, examine where you went wrong and plan for the 40 years you have left.

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you often give advice to young adults to help them avoid some of the pitfalls of life any advice for those of us who are 40-plus who have already faltered look first Graham this is Graham everybody who is 40 pluses has already faltered but but I’m presuming that you mean faulted in a manner that appears to you to be above out above the average right well what I would really recommend is I think that you should if you haven’t already you should go do the future authoring program and maybe the past authoring program too because you should figure out exactly how you faltered like what exactly did you do wrong by your own by your own analysis right I’m not saying well what social rules did you break although that’s not a bad initial guideline it’s like so in the self authoring suite there’s a past authoring module and it asks you to break your life into seven epochs and then to consider the emotionally significant or practically significant events within each epoch and detail out their emotional nature and their consequences and so on and one of the things you might want to figure out is well when you say that you faltered like what do you mean exactly and I mean exactly go over your life with a fine-tooth comb this is what Alexander Solzhenitsyn did by the way in the gulag before he wrote the Gulag Archipelago he went over his life and said okay well like where did I go wrong what did I squander what mistakes did I make and what did i do right so that you can orient yourself now and then you want to think and this is why we built a future authoring program well look you got 40 years left man so what do you want them to be like so what do you want to aim at at least how are you gonna minimize the misery if nothing else and so you need a plan and then what you need to do is to figure out how to work day to day so that you incremental II approach that plan so I have another chapter in this new book called compare yourself to who you were yesterday rather than to who someone else is today that’s really a useful psychological stance for someone who’s thirty and over in particular talk twenty-year-olds can still kind of compare themselves to other twenty year olds because all twenty year olds in some way are the same but forty year olds are really different from each other and so or thirty year olds for that matter so you might think okay well here’s a here’s a meditative strategy for for ceasing to falter you could wake up in the morning or you could do this at night before you go to bed and you could think okay look I want to structure my day tomorrow so that when I when I’m done with the day my life is in slightly better order than it was when I woke up this morning it’s just slightly better because incremental progress is massively massively effective because it bears exponential fruit just like a bank account compounds incremental progress compounds with time so you can get up in the morning and you can think okay there’s some things in my life that I could put in order today there are usually things you don’t want to do as I mentioned earlier what could I do today that would help put my life in order that I would do you have to ask yourself you can’t tell yourself you have to ask yourself what would you do and then maybe you have to say well or maybe you have to say under what conditions would I be willing to do something to put my life in further order today what little reward would I need to give myself and these have to be questions you can’t like take out the whip and boss yourself around because you’ll find that you’re a terrible master and a worse slave and so you can get a long ways if you look low enough one of the things Carl Jung said which I really liked was that modern people don’t see God because they don’t look low enough they don’t have the humility now you said that you have already faltered so it sounds like you’ve got the humility already intact so I would say think about what you want think about what you know around you isn’t set right because you’ll know it make a list of things that around you that aren’t right and then start thinking about small things you can do like trivial things that even a fool like yourself could manage that would orient you in the right direction and help straighten out your life and try that for a year before you decide that you’re a failure you know because you’ll find that if you put that into practice for a year that things will be a lot better and like a said you got 40 years left so you’re not you’re not done yet and so the other thing I would say too is it isn’t exactly that I would say forgive yourself because you know that’s just a cliche but I would say that once you’ve decided once you what you’ve done wrong and you’ve put into practice some some strategies to rectify that that don’t you don’t have to beat yourself any more than is necessary for you to learn which is a good rule of thumb with regards to treating yourself and also

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