Dave Chappelle – killing them softly ( COMPLETE )

yeah the historic Lincoln Theatre in Washington DC hey Chappell why very good to come home boy I swear I know man it’s been a while it’s been a while yeah DC’s different I’m a god man took me years we’ve got to do this show boy DC has changed its different names it’s not white people all around I mean I live I left in C an eighties it was it was not like this in 80s when crack was going on when crack was going on why do you be looking at DC from Virginia with binoculars well that looks dangerous not yet new white people you can’t scare these white people I tried roll up on a boo the hell is wrong with you those days are over I’m glad you know like you’re doing a show here by Howard you know and you see like why people come on that’s good one thing I’m seeing every walking on street and you’ll see like a group of black dudes walking not just any old black dude we’re talking you know thugs talk you know be some thugs in the group and a group that got like wild too sometimes as many as three white guys would be with them ever seena shit I want to tell you something about those white guys those white guys are the most dangerous motherfuckers and M groups it’s true it’s true man no telling what they’ve done to get them black dudes respect well then black goons have seen them do some wild shit I’ll tell you that I’ve been trying to tell brothers that every every group of brothers should have at least one white guy here I’m serious for safety cuz when the shit goes down somebody’s gonna need to talk to the police Ezrin it husband airline friend comes in handy hello Ernie want to get this one call now come on in do something the black people are very afraid of the police there’s a big part of our culture don’t know how rich you are how old you are we just afraid of them we got we got every reason to be afraid of you know I mean like your white lady ever been pulled over before you know nobody said you let me see your driver’s license and your registration right si si I’m just guessing that’s not what they say to us you wouldn’t believe what they say to us spread your cheeks and lift your sac excuse me hear me spread open your chain to lift your sac I got a driver’s license – the easier way is to prove Who I am as you where’s that crude I can’t go to the bank like that cash my check what do you mean on having the ID wait a minute oh I’m sorry mrs. Appel right this way why don’t you spread your cheeks in the beginning scared of him serious man you’ll be at a red light the police might pull up next to you it won’t be no big deal for you but you know I’m fucking falling apart oh don’t look over anything but I didn’t always know that was a black thing it took me a while to figure that out I learn I learned that shit in New York I was in New York City now I was hanging out with a friend of mine he’s a white guy you know we were just hanging out and we were lost in the city we know he’s smoking a joint now how Nova’s a coincidence if we were lost and hide shit but my life buddy he was smoking to join Dave Dave it’s the goddamn cops I’m going to ask him for directions as in chip no chip don’t do it it was too late he was walking over there this man was high shit excuse me excuse me sir touch lemon shit excuse me need some information oh it’s not confessing things you shouldn’t confess I’m a little high all I want to know which way is Third Street the cop was like hey take it easy you’re on Third Street you better be careful go ahead move it move it that’s all it happened that’s into the story yeah I know that’s not amazing of some of you when she has one of these black fellows that shit is fucking incredible ISM once a man will never dream of talking to the police hi that’s a waste of weed sure i’ma be scared to talk to police when I’m sleepy fuck around get the wrong ideas that nigger was on PCP Johnson I had to use necessary force he’s old no no no paperwork just just sprinkle some crack on him let’s get out of here that’s how it is but at the time I didn’t think was anything racial about it I was like man shit you got fucking lucky better be careful but then another time me and chip are driving I’m not driving chip is driving and he’s driving a little crazy he’d been drinking I don’t like to let my friends drive drunk but you know I was smoking a joint I couldn’t really say shit to the guy are we good at a red light we stopped at a red light and the car pulls up next to us and I’ll never forget it chip he looks at me as old drunk and she’s like Dave I’m gonna race him I knew was a bad idea but I was high I try to explain it was a bad idea but all that came out well nigga sometimes you got race huh that light turn green and chip took off zigzag Enosh it’s a little capacitor I didn’t know he was racing then a police seen us and pulled us over they understand I’m scared of shit I mean come on the car smells like we been speeding this man is fucking drunk I’m scared Chuck was not scared of it was weird he didn’t turn his radio down then we’re a little bit I’m if you get pulled over when you turn your radio down one by one get the hands beat to a soundtrack and shit I’m saying chip had the music blasting we’re not gonna take it well it was a day just relax cause your buttcheeks price let me do the talking well know what he said it’s almost exactly what he said I couldn’t believe it he says oh oh sorry officer I I didn’t know I couldn’t do that I was fucking shot the cop said well now you know get out of here get the fuck out of here she wasn’t okay oh I will sir thank you what what’s wrong with you Dave I didn’t know I couldn’t do that sir that was good wasn’t it because I did know I couldn’t do that oh sure I wouldn’t shock at the audacity if I was just shot because I would have never thought to say that I don’t think anybody would think to say that because they know we know the law every black dude in this room is a qualified paralegal and shit he knows wrong one of us even start to do something wrong the old black man and pop out of nowhere nigga don’t do that that’s five to ten we know the laws in the penalties that chip didn’t even know he can race and I said I don’t like police I’m not saying that I’m saying I’m just scared of them then wrong with that sometimes we want to call it – somebody broke into my house once it’s a good time to comb house is too nice paint a real nice house but they never believed I live in to me he’s still here open-and-shut case Johnson I saw this months before when I was a rookie apparently this nigger broke in and hung up pictures of his family everywhere well let’s sprinkle some crack on him and get out of here I gotta ask him that’s a whole brutality things see that’s common knowledge man it was a time when only minorities really knew about that I’m not gonna say why people didn’t believe us was you a little skeptical your little skeptical I mean I don’t blame you in the Newsweek printed he knew was true and the Newsweek life without a home why God honey did you see this apparently the police have been beating up Negroes like hotcakes to the May issue I mean really how could you know how could anyone else know you know I mean maybe you should have seen something a little suspicious anything it was like a little suspicious a little suspicious every dead black person in police fine has crack sprinkled on oh man who gets shot and sprinkles crack on themselves nobody delivery’s I’m a paranoid guy yes I am I was scared to call nine-one-one for anything even if it’s like a fire or anything cuz they take those phone calls I see the shows they tape them and then they play them on television that’s fucked up now I’ll say anything if I’m scared that shit is private you know what if I can’t kill and so I playing a nama one tape on the news I’m dead I can’t explain myself to my buddies and shit we watching the news we have registered Chapman on the same ranch what’s going on out there I always say it’s a guy on the scene a minute hi Bob hi yes we just got hold of a copy of Dave Chappelle’s frantic 911 emergency call remember viewers some of this language is disturbing hello emergency pill hello father they come to get me just calm down server are you oh oh shit on myself Acme a stop cryin good way that’s it 30 40 times a day well my buddy’s been my opinon looking at me you know they’ve shit on themselves right I saw it on the news died crying like a bitch Abed I can’t defend myself it’s not a nice thing to do that’s not a nice thing to do I mean it’s nine one one tape how they expect you to Sam of course you’re gonna be scared it’s an emergency there’s nobody calls now when one cool and relaxed that shit will sound ridiculous hello emergency hi hey 9-1-1 how are you yeah ah there’s a group of hooded white men gathering outside of my house and it looks like they mean business can’t hear nadir I gotta go you guys train her too much pressure that’s my problem I can’t I can’t handle pressure sometimes pressure make me talk different I’m serious you ever have like that social pressure talk to somebody who’s fake and they make you fake wait that can’t be like hey you know you’re like fine I don’t even talk like that I get sick of that shit I do it makes me sick sometimes I’ll talk crazy just to make myself feel better he’ll do that they start talking like crazy I’ve never heard his voice man that’s how bad guys he’s a talk in the forties in the old days say I talk like that now all the time with if somebody put the pressure on me fucker my god I cut loose hey the police pull me over I talk crazy son son do you know why we pulled you over man cuz I’m black say that’s right it’s not illegal to talk like that how they know I don’t talk like that every day stop talking like that stop puddling whack hammer tight artsy you got to make life interesting like that cuz it shit is flimsy life is flimsy you think you’re gonna live everything but I gonna live forever it’s dangerous out here we know what’s goin on I travel man you know I usually think DC had the roughest ghettos in the country nah I go oh I have seen some shit now oh there’s some rough rough areas outside of DC yeah everybody should go together I wasn’t taking it again at one time that’s the worst when you get taking it you not expecting to go hey you know you want to know where you’re gonna get her like I’m gonna see some loud shit I got a propeller on something let’s do something crazy when you’re taking is different I had a limousine driver it was after shows late at night it’s like 3:00 in the morning and limousine driver he’s a nice guy talking to me and shit oh hey were you friend of DC weren’t that’s a rough City man and his cell phone started ringing hold on a second hello oh so nigga what what the fuck still there what the fuck now now now fuck that nigga fuck it out on my way I gotta make a stop real quick at 3 o’clock in the morning I didn’t know he was taking me to ghetto at first I saw looking out the window that what the fuck gun store gun store look at stalk let us know where the fuck you taking me cuz I look good he didn’t say shit just pulled up in from an old rickety building that looked like a project now I never been there before I’m not sure if it was a project but it certainly had all the familial symptoms of a project a fucking crackhead ran this way and then another one jumped out of trees but I said I’ll be right back left me took the keys with me just left me at three o’clock in the morning in front of a project and a fucking limousine this was not good I was like man I gotta look around see if I can see some landmarks and figure out where I’m at I have to escape on foot that is what I know I was in a bad neighborhood you only see this in the worst neighborhoods remember it’s three o’clock in the morning it’s three o’clock in the morning I look out the window it was a fucking baby standing on the corner and the baby the baby didn’t even look scared he just on it I mean it made me sad it made me sad really good-looking I want to help the baby I don’t trust you either I’m sorry click the old baby on the corner trick egg not gonna fall for that shit where’s this limousine driving I stopped feeling bad time goes by stop feeling worse like man what is wrong with me what the hell’s wrong I’m scared of a baby and this baby could be in trouble he might need my help I got to do something but I was gonna get out the car I’m serious man I was practical endo a little bit there’s a whole limousine I can roll it down hey baby baby go home man straight o’clock in the morning with a fuck you doing up the baby said I’m selling weed niggas at home I’m sure I had to buy two bags from the Komets economy got back in the car rolled me a joint man sir that shit was scary man every once in a while like a crack here will come up to the car and look in the windows like Jurassic Park and shouldn’t be looking on the car hey get out of here cracking that baby was still standing there man that’s not feeling bad again yeah we make you feel guilty sometimes you go man what is wrong you mean I have just bought weed from from an infant I can’t condone this kind of behavior what am I thinking I can’t let the fear ruin my morals got to do something hey baby stop selling weed all right you got your whole life ahead of you is it fuck you think I got here’s the feed Sam this is that very moment when the crackheads run across the street and got hit by a car I know it was a hit-and-run the police did it that’s all right they spring some crack on him he got back up obviously that kind of shit man it’s what is it they use it to TV to programmers from a young age ever watch like a cartoon is used to watch me a little as an adult shit is wild shit somewhere I’m certainly like I was in my nephew we send every watching Pepe LePew I say – I never has an hour pay attention to this guy because he’s funny I used to watch him when I was little and he washed up every type you with him old now looking like a kind of kind of fucking rapist is this guy like take it easy come on let me was sitting there cracking up see sometimes gotta take the pussy like that me like I had to turn the channel real quick I turn on Sesame Street that’s a Sesame Street this is much better than now he’ll learn how to count and spell but now I’m watching it as an ad though not realize Sesame Street teaches kids other things it teaches kids how to judge people and label people that’s right I got character named Oscar the treat this guy like shit the entire show they judge him right in his face Oscar you are so me isn’t it kids yeah Oscar you’re a grouch it’s like bitch I live in a fucking trash can for the polls motherfuck on Sesame Street nobody’s helping me he went away a kids grow up and step over homeless people get it together grouch get a job grouch so don’t even tell me how to get to Sesame Street that is a terrible place I want to go there file it away who would want to live in a neighborhood like that fucking six-foot pigeons walking around elephant that’s a junkie Piper and right Snuffy hi bird up sick I need some smack bird Cookie Monster with his eyes popping out his heads cookie cookie cookie uh Hannah cookies are you talking about chocolate chips on the recipe and then had the nerve to put a pimp on them let him come out and say he’s a pimp but I know a pen when I see whenever they caught him to count letter K from everything Peter Sam pimpin which where is my money you’ve been late four times I’ve been counting how many times must I smack you before you act right other thing somebody stuck with so much stuff to worry about you know the more you know the more you don’t know who and shit you know like a lot of people will be telling me Dave you know he just got relaxed the racism things bugging you too much we think about it sometimes shit will happen you know a lot of black people can relate to just have you ever had something happened it was so racist that she didn’t even get mad he was just like hey that was race that was racist I’m gonna so blame you were just like what why you almost like it didn’t even happen it was like a fucking movie that was like he was watching Mississippi Burning Wow heaven to me I was the in Mississippi I was in Mississippi doing show and I go to the restaurant to order some food and I say to the guy I said I would like to have and before I even finish my sins he says the chicken I could not believe it but not believe that shit this man was absolutely right I said how did he know that I was gonna get some chicken I asked I said how you know that how’d you know I was gonna get some chicken he looked at me like I was crazy come on buddy come on buddy everybody loosens you out for the goddamn door you’re gonna give him shit in a no secret down here that blacks and chickens are quite fond of one another then I finally understood what he was saying and I got upset I wasn’t even man I was just upset I wasn’t ready to hear that shit all these years I thought I liked chicken cuz it was delicious turns out I’m genetically predisposed to like a chicken I got no say in the man I got ruined chicken for me I’m scared eat it in public I want some eyes see me and say something are you beating some chicken oh look at him he loves it just like it’s in the encyclopedia look how happy he looks – let’s deal with that show business be crazy that’s where the culture is really collide show business bring a lot of races together sometimes it work some kind of dog this is one thing that happens it’s funny you know sometimes I’d be on a business call right you know like with a with a lawyer something you know I’ll always be right and and I will be on a call right and they’ll be like oh okay Dave we’re gonna we’re gonna close the deal is that fine with you okay that’s good for me great great you have a good weekend Dave I’ll be like are you – man peace oh all right bye-bye what we’re saying right so something but sometimes I’ll make up shit that’s not even same just to see how they handle it achieving maybe the same business go alright we’re gonna close the deals that fine with you Dave yeah sounds good to me great you have a good weekend Dave alright buddy zip it up and zip it out oh alright so we do do-dah by bike sometimes you know sometimes racism works out and black people’s favor yeah it doesn’t happen often it happens very rarely but when it happens it is fucking sweet I’m serious one time racism saved my life man I was I was on a plane I was coming I was coming from overseas and I don’t know how this guy got a machine gun on the plane but he stood up man he said everybody get on the fucking ground nobody look at my face I started freaking out cuz he was Chinese I was like why is he talking like that we’re screaming a crime I was going with brother on the plane well I thought of it but I looked over there was one of the black dude he’s from Nigeria I I looked over them he was looking right in my face man he didn’t say two words to me just like the music didn’t need to talk I know we just were you talking my look right back in that’s right so my dues on the front of planes seen us everything oh my god I think those black guys are gonna try to save us where does communicatin that we understood the situation we were both seeing the same thing what we understood was simple terrorists don’t take black hostages that’s the truth I have yet to see one of us on the news reading the hostage that engine um they is treating us good we all chilling a shit I like to give a shout-out to Ray Ray and big Steve Chanu : you’re not gonna see it terrorism’s smart they know what they’re doing that you know they terrorists they know the black people’s bad bargaining chips they called the White House hello we have got five blood hello you’d be back in DC Universe thing advantage this is an election here I’m asking you like I do you know who you’re voting for you don’t know do now you see that you see what just happened here let me tell you something that is a cultural thing he knows who is no hopeful he’s just not gonna tell me there is a cultural thing right people do not like to talk about their political affiliations it’s a secret yeah that’s why I lose one review hey papa we gonna vote for Dave Dave whoa take it easy Nick take it easy so anyway um I was fucking my wife in her ass right and and I mean it was something else hey hey what about the who you voting for days babe come on with the bowling trying to anybody fucking my wife here ask me all these personal questions they don’t like to divulge that information cuz it matters to them black people talk about that shit black people will openly talk about politics but will openly talk about beating up politicians is you masih George Bush our kick is motherfuckin hands for cutting my Medicaid probably to say it but as a reason for that it matters more for it matters more black people see see even when I vote right which I don’t but but but even when I like think about like who I would vote for right I don’t even look at their political policies I just look at their character you don’t I’m saying now you got a ring I’m serious you got to read between the lines like you know you look at Clinton and black people like Clinton do we’ve seen him on a camp that’s all one thing on a campaign trail II he actually just picked the black baby up and kicked my come here little nigger baby I like that he did not hesitate or nothing see George Bush do you mean like say I’d never vote for George Bush jr. but I don’t know George was juniors politics one thing I know about George Bush jr. is that that guy sniff cocaine that’s right now listen we cannot have that shit in the White House that might be fine for mayor but got them lovely the stakes are too high in the White House can’t have no Coke here president oh they be selling nuclear secrets for twenty thirty dollars and she could be in meetings embarrass in America come on sign a treaty baby I’ll suck your dick mr. president that is not how we do business here sir stop sucking the ambassador’s dick no no let me finish I was signing a treaty there will be peace in Israel finally I vote for Clinton again if I could at least there’s always been now again I’m not looking at his politics don’t know what his politics are I’m just looking at his behavior I understand that kind of behavior I know a lot of dudes with them shortcomings weed smoking fornicators there’s a lot of em I mean come on man let’s let’s be honest let’s be honest Bill Clinton was not the first president to do what he did now now listen this let’s think back for me room a guy named named Kennedy John F Kennedy remember him he fuck Marilyn Monroe matter of fact him and his brother Bobby fuck Marilyn Monroe and history doesn’t talk about that much you know why history doesn’t talk about that much because those two pages in history I stuck together baby get it on they will get it on I seen the tapes remember the tape should be singing on nastiness party stressing them out you need to print it bitch my family’s here glenda the same thing but he didn’t do it like that because the year 2000 he’s busier than Kennedy was he’s a busy man couldn’t did that kind of thing the way busy men do it you know what busy men do they fuck who’s close to them I can tell that’s McCool is after Lilly he just stuck his head out the office don’t you I made MacLean this up on a 3/32 come on oh boy here’s Ryan looking at Kennedy’s pictures and in the top at all feel ID which I thought was I thought it was special I did man I know how he did I’ve been accused of having sex with a girl I did not have sex with before and let me tell you something that shit is infuriating you ever go through that dig you know it’ll make you crazy be screaming at your best friends I didn’t touch that fish think I’ll kill you fuck you me I can’t you please believe me please believe me the clinton didn’t do it like that did it Clint came out of the press conference all relaxed shoulders all relaxed and all this trouble look I just got done fucking sir listen let me tell you something America I don’t think you heard me first time I did not have sexual relations with that woman miss Lewinsky everybody know that finger smell like nobody can nobody care we all watch we was disgusted when we kept watching the news I know out of here I was taping it Sabitha crib like baby turn the lights off News’s coming home every week on 16 minutes was a different girl accusing Clinton remember Kathleen Willey came out she was upset the president called me into his office he began Saatchi my breasts so I’m sorry and then he placed my hand on his genitals and Bradley was shot was he aroused as a whole like yeah was he arousal and then umbrella look right in the camera said don’t bless that not yet we’ll be right back oh man a news it never been so good but there were no victims there were no victims only when I feel sorry for is that a Lewinsky feel sorry don’t you feel oh sorry bird oh god damn you’re come on have a heart has a hard thing to be famous for me yeah nobody wanna be the most famous cocksuck of all times I feel bad for not even though women feel sorry for a little bit ladies now that’s jealousy dancer daddy else come on that’s one dignity that girl sucked it’s gonna haunt her for the rest of her Bowl I long after she spent that money up that’s still gonna haunt her I know there’s a lot of women in here with at least one dick they regret and I bet you one the president’s dick I bet she worked at can issue the Safeway or something see we got to stop judging people that girl was young and she made a mistake that young girls make she wanted to fuck a powerful man period that’s as far as she thought it through she won’t think about how Papa the president was she had no wisdom Oh Devon I’m gonna helped everybody older woman would have been in there you know you should lower taxes how older one would have sucked us until utopia last time one say about it is this that he is a famous man I have dreamt of being famous but I never dreamt of being that famous I never understood how famous a president was imagine if someone could suck your dick and then they’re famous in a single turn that’s crazy that’s great there’s nobody with a pickup line that good and shit they suck my dick there’s a future in it oh that’s it now get out there and be somebody right uncle said I’m in the wrong business after me the president she know I’m in the wrong business the only reason I wanna be president is cuz I’m black doesn’t make it too hot for me I mean on me I think it could be a black president one day but you don’t want to be the first one he’s second 1/3 that’s fine but that first nigga better watch out I’m gonna tell you that right now too hot I mean I’d be the first black president I don’t think that nobody would really really hurt me I’m sure somebody want to hurt me but I don’t think they touch me cuz uh because of my vice president will be Mexican a little insurance saying he can shoot me if you want but you just know open the border up so mines believe me and vice president’s not the idol to our own devices hey bed right side the up see Elian can stay don’t worry Dover l got no alien jokes I’ll say by Eliana’s thank God is Cuban as if he was Haitian you’d have never heard about his Gonzalez was Iliamna moonbow from her try to push a little rubber tube right back the only thing I society that bothers me the most is the way that men and women don’t get along no more that’s really what’s bugging me about it men and women just don’t get along like I hear women say this all the time no lie you sister be like chivalry is dead don’t you don’t y’all feel that way like men aren’t gentlemen anymore that’s right chivalry is dead and women killed it as a fundamental difference in the way we’re going to see things we’re not going to see eye-to-eye on this issue we just not our testing life are different a woman’s testing life is material a man’s testing life is a woman now by tests I mean that those are the things that we desire men have nice cars not because they like nice cars because they know women like nice car because men are hunters and the cars the bait and a woman colors as whoo nice Porsche gotcha bitch that’s how that’s true come on there you go to a woman’s house their house be comfortable is shit women love comfortable surroundings so we can get comfortable surroundings let me tell you something if a man could fuck a woman in a cardboard box he wouldn’t buy a house but that’s still doubt with chivalry got killed chivalry got killed by the feminist movement on the magazine’s that guy was been going crazy because women got too much advice about men from other women and they don’t know what the fuck they talking about it’s true I see this shit in the magazines I don’t read them but I’ll be seeing the cover I look at every in the grocery store fellas you look one of the magazine like what is this and I say a cover a hundred ways to please your man by some lady get out in a hundred way that this is four things long just suck his dick papers balls and fix him a sandwich and then the magazines trick the women the magazines stop picking at your self-esteem every page you turn you start feeling fatter and uglier and you feel like your clothes aren’t good enough and the magazines have you forgettin how fucking beautiful you are and that’s what happened now look what happens and then you forget how beautiful you are we all suffer if pussy was a stock it would be plummeting right now because you flooded the market with it you’re giving it away too easy is it I’m just being truthful I’m just talking it would plummet maybe watch the news today pussy plummeted again the Nasdaq Gold is up ten points you can see it yeah if you ever have this happen this is how confusing it is this is this is the practical application what I’m talking about like a copy out is having the gun locked guys you’d be out of club bar right he’s kicking with your boys and a girl walks by and man she looks good she looks good not good in that classical way I mean you know I’m talking good like she got her ass hanging out her skirt Oh her titties are all mashed together popping out the top of our turtleneck and shit and he was your buddies right you with your buddies got a couple drinks in here and your cigarette is you might try to talk through this might not come out right you know what you save it daddy look at them kitties the girl gets mad at you oh oh wait a minute wait a minute just because I’m dressed this way does not make me a home which is true gentlemen that is true just because they dress a certain way doesn’t mean they are certain way don’t ever forget it but ladies you must understand that that is fucking confusing just means now that would be like me Dave Chappelle the comedian walking around the streets and a cop uniform somebody might run up on me oh thank god officer help us come on over here help us huh man oh just because I’m dressed this way does that make me a police officer you understand what I’m saying I was like all right ladies fine fine you are not a Whore but you are wearing a whores uniform I’ll tell you that no misunderstandings can happen and then men we misunderstand limit alive you know we always undermine their feelings you can’t do that – no you can’t because see feelings are this here clapping feelings are very important to women they are all important I’m just learning this year everything is based on how they feel you can hear when they tell stories you ever tell him man tells story could be just facts who what when where why it was me and Bob we use that safe way then I think of Bob sent this then I push that nigga and then I broke out the store that’s the store women tell stories and always feeling it well first of all you understand I was on my period and I just talked to my mother the fuck we often do it but I got to talk about you gotta talk about him that’s how I always get me I’ve been sitting there watching TV chilling shit my old lady come up to me David we need to talk I don’t say that out loud that’s how I feel inside every time we need to talk we need to talk about some shit that I gotta do you know never have talked about anything she needs me she leaves me defenseless I have to do what I have to do David we need to talk man don’t do that to me David this is serious stop talking in that voice now say USA I complain when I’m happy I’m with somebody I don’t wanna be I wanna be single I don’t like that sometimes you got in single club you see too much I was on the road one club and that’s seen uh I’ve seen a thing they call a thong contest hey I seen a thumb contest there’s some scandalous shit all right I couldn’t get over that man because a DJ and I was dancing on the ground they said everybody that wants to be in the phone contest please report to the DJ booth come excuse me they pawn that’s awesome let me see some girls was going off some of them pulling at hands nails home pull discs yourself Alban is shaking him but son didn’t have underwear on it was his fucking checking the buck I mean I was fucking disgusting but I couldn’t turn away please for the squeamish bug he is all right one of the girls who get so into it there’s no cops around right but she actually I’m sorry to tell you all this she spreads her butt cheeks open she’s present but she’s open in the middle of a crowded disco right I was disgusted cuz I was like ten yards away from rounds like oh my god is that her is this her birth oh it gets worse god almighty’s either is that a baby I know it has roses gross cuz it was a baby it was the same baby from the project it’s like I snuck in a club you

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