The Art of Honest Seduction | Gareth Jones | Full Length HD

21 convention Miami Florida 2016 and we have our first speaker of the day amazing guy he’s a guy that also lives in Austin Texas but has taught literally all over the world working with men dating seduction and true empowerment he is the founder and main face of the art of the Playboy mr. Gareth Jones hey guys so thanks for showing up this morning this is so early I really appreciate that I’m not super good at mornings but I’m glad to see ya I’m glad to see you guys bright and bushy eyed mostly some of you may know who I am some of you may not for those of you that don’t know who I am is there anybody here that had that that does know who I am that it’s familiar with me okay all right I want to kind of give a bit of a background and in my background I’m gonna include a couple a couple of the ideas that I wanted to talk about yesterday I had this idea for a speech and I went through it and everything has been created and written down and it was put on my iPad and it was all set and I practiced it and this morning I woke up and after seeing Nick after seeing it start talking with Brian I was like now you know what I think I owe it to you guys to do uh to do something a little bit more honest so let me start from the beginning my name is Gareth Jones I teach for art of the Playboy which is a company that teaches guys how to talk to girls if there’s any question about that but it focuses more on refinement it focuses more on making things a little bit smoother making things a little bit more grown-up making things a little bit more pleasant nice that kind of idea of I don’t wanna say cool because cool is kind of like something you get tripped up but that idea of classic that idea of stylish rather than fashionable because I really enjoy that I really enjoy that kind of stuff I really enjoyed the James Bond I really enjoy the Cary Grant I enjoy shooting and booting is a very silly sort of way I don’t take myself very seriously I have kind of a problem with people that do take themselves very seriously but I understand why people would think I take myself seriously and my stories is is probably very similar to a lot of yours and not I got into this stuff because a girl gave me a copy of the game is there anybody here that hasn’t read the game okay all right so quite a few of you that’s pretty interesting I do a lot of I’ve done a lot of the P way conventions and things where that’s you know where you come from like in LA I speak it Johnny sapore nose workshop in Las Vegas I’ve done some of the I did a direct dating some it was Sasha and such a day game if you guys aren’t familiar which I’m sure you are and I got into it because a girl gave me a copy of the game and she was like wow this is so interesting it’s about psychology and it’s about getting better with girls it’d be something that’s really right up your alley because I love women I love I think they’re wonderful I think they’re beautiful I think I think every part of them is so cool and so amazing and and that was always a strength for me that was always something that I was like really really into I really appreciated it and and that of course became kind of a problem in that I would become really needy I would be you know it’s super whiny I’d be that guy that gets really clingy really quickly and I and I had that issue where I was like you know I really really like women but women seem to like me for a very short period of time and then they kind of get tired of me and that’s one of those things that a lot of guys may have run into and they meet a girl and things start going somewhere and then she kind of guy fucks off and I knew that to be a problem on my end I’ve come a very long way from you know my childhood I wasn’t really cool obviously like a lot of a lot of guys that are in this industry I wasn’t super cool and and I really wanted to work on that I really realized that it was something that could be manipulated that cool wasn’t like a thing it wasn’t like you were how short you were how fat you are how you know how much you could like lift or anything like that I knew it was this kind of element that I wasn’t understanding so I won I went and I kind of set myself out to to be able to change that to try or to try to change that and I learned a lot in the process and that I started to apply that when I was about 23 24 when I moved to Los Angeles me because I read that book and that book said hey you can do this to girls you can you can become popular with women I can be good with women and I thought that was so amazing to me so I read this book the game and I started trying all these indirect openers all the Neil stress stuff the indirect openers the time constraints they talked about a lot of mystery method right negging things like that opinion openers I think I said and then I read that and I read every other book I could get my hands on we were talking about some of the books that were mentioned in the game some of the NLP stuff right somebody hypnosis stuff and very quickly I was consumed by all of this all of these different elements all these different little areas you know not necessarily I wasn’t really in the whole like self-improvement camp I was really like straight up these are women I love women I want more women in my life how do I do that so I read the game I practiced all that stuff I ended up I just by fluke chance I ended up at Neil Strauss’s house for the party for the end of vh1’s pickup artist season 2 and I met a bunch of guys there including Ross Jeffries who invited me to come to one of his seminars so I studied under that and then at that seminar I met some of the style life guys so I got invited to one of the style life conferences which to me that was so interesting because I had read this book and I was like oh my gosh this is amazing book and all the while I was going out and practicing this stuff because I knew you know I knew it was one of those things where I if I didn’t start doing it now I never would so I was going out and I was practicing the stuff and then I was thrown in some Ross Jeffries lines a lot of anchoring a lot of like phonetic disambiguation I was reading I mean I read it all you know I read the the love drop book the mystery method I was reading art of the I mean whatever it is the art of seduction Robert Greene book I had picked up the NLP book frogs into princes we were just talking about started reading a lot of that stuff which is where most of my text stuff came from and I got real good gonna be honest with you you know little arrogant I got really good at this stuff and I also got really good at teaching it I got really good at teaching it because I didn’t come at it from a place of changing myself so much as I came at it from a place where somebody else had this information you can apply this information right so think about it like learning a martial art Ince in some cases people say now I’ve learned this kick right oh I learned a kick so now that’s a kick I can do it’s a thing not a lot of people say well now I am man that kicks right which is quite a bit of a better mind frame but I wasn’t really thinking about it like that at that point so I was very clear on how to explain it to other people and it was that ability which I think probably if you if you ever get like a time to shout it with a coach any I mean any of the coaches here the trainer’s here you’ll find that there are not that many people that can teach well and we probably will all agree on that there’s lots of guys that are good with girls but to teach it well is very very difficult which is why you’ll see these names popping up again you’ll see Nick Sparks again Steve Steve made over and over again at different places not just a constant cycle because teaching is actually quite difficult and I got picked up by a friend that was on the vh1 show to coach for a company called ABCs of Attraction and I coach for ABCs of traction kind of teaching like for the most part teaching guys that were like fresh-off-the-boat immigrants that were first second-generation immigrants that we’re having a real hard time with social skills and getting better with age unless Indians that we’re getting getting you know getting better with with social skills and not so much women put a lot you know definitely definitely some skills with women and I thought that for nearly four years and then I started you know for reasons I went out on my own and I decided exactly what I was going to teach you know I was I was growing because I at this point I’m still learning I’m I’m growing with with what I’m learning I’m reading things and I’m saying well these things that I’m reading I’m agreeing with and they’re not necessarily jiving with what I’m presently teaching but I’m kind of under this corporate umbrella so I have to teach what they’re thinking and it eventually just got to the point where I wanted to go on my own and teach my own stuff and that’s when I I worked with some of the guys from natural lifestyles I did which I James and Liam are gonna be here soon which I and I highly encourage you make every effort to come and see them speak and if but although you guys are here at 9:00 in the morning so you’re obviously not screw-off in the afternoon because they have an entirely different method that I was completely new to I made friends with James at the at the pickup summit in 2010 where I was voted the best new pickup artist in the world and woo-yea writes got me late all the time I actually used to have one of those I had the the plaque that Vince had signed like Thank You Vince and it said best new pickup artists in the world and I and I had it on my wall because I was actually quite I mean I still am quite proud of that because it doesn’t it’s not like it what’s up ladies but it’s something it meant that I had changed you know it was it was a transition from like a really struggling with girls to like yes you are accredited now and I had it on my wall and I you know I saw I didn’t really think about it until this girl I had taken this girl home and we were literally like having sex and she was like what’s that it’s like nothing don’t worry about it so that’s no longer on my wall but she I had met James and James and I quickly became very good friends and he like introduced me to his method and and I taught on a couple of his euro tours and it was a very very very different method than what I have been teaching almost the opposite and and I’ve spoken a few times at conferences about the different types of learning how to talk to girls and and I went through this spiral where where I had for five years six years I thought I knew what was right what was good what worked right what worked because we’re all here because we want to know what works and all your questions are gonna dig what works what do you say when when do i text where’s the right place to take a girl on a date and then I had been shown pretty much the opposite of what I had known to be true and that also worked and I was like shit I’m a fraud everything I know is wrong I’m not really a fraud because now I know this stuff and it’s right so I can go and do that so I was teaching great stuff I you know I was incorporating what I believed in what was right with what I had been taught from from James and what I learned from him and his crew and that kind of different more of like a if you can imagine it like there’s two sides of seduction there’s the POA side and there’s the kind of like Eastern philosophy side like James was teaching about meditation Nick talks about meditation well I didn’t know anything about meditation getting in state for me when I was going out to girls getting getting you know working on my inner game wasn’t about meditation it was about putting on the James Bond theme song and tying up your tie making a proper martini spending time lighting that cigar before you go out to the club that was my getting in state I had no idea with meditation why wouldn’t want to sit down quietly and breathe that doesn’t sound like it’s gonna get me pumped up and then I went on this workshop when they showed me that it did get me pumped up and I was like oh fuck everything I know is wrong so I went through this period of time where it was very intimidated because I really didn’t know what was right and what was wrong and what was up or what was down and I was teaching and I was teaching all over the world I was teaching different countries I was in I was in Italy when I really hate when I hit me I had a I had a student that had come from my old teaching and wanted me to do some refresher we were in Rome he spent like five or six days with me in Rome and he wanted to do some refreshers but now I didn’t believe in anything I was teaching before so I had all this new stuff and I wanted to teach him new stuff and he’s like hold on a second what about my story about the cat that you told me to say and I was like well you can’t do that anymore it’s not that’s bullshit because it’s a dhp story and if you’re trying to display a higher value then it means you actually don’t believe that you were of higher value and she’s gonna see that and now it’s has this whole thing and I was having this crisis and I eventually got through it I worked my way through where I realized the other stuff I was teaching was right it was good and it was it wasn’t I had just stolen it from somebody else I had put all together these things and it was only until recently that I had a student and I had the student for one-on-one and he he just simply wasn’t gonna be the type that meditates he wasn’t gonna be the type that worked on projecting sexual intent and breathing in the air around you and working on your awareness and using that awareness to create a solid foundation of intent and then bringing that intent to a woman without any expectation of getting from her getting a date or getting a number getting laid I just really knew that wasn’t gonna go with him it just wasn’t gonna happen so I had to kind of step back and say let’s work on openers let’s work on what to say at the abcs way back in the day there was this phrase where they say that the beginner thinks what to say the average p/yr Seductor or whatever Studios right now its word and thinks how to say it and the experts are thinking where they’re gonna fuck this girl and for me I just knew you know he didn’t he didn’t need that stuff we needed to start somewhat basic and it got me thinking and I realized that this stuff that I had thought was right and then had come to thought was wrong was of course right it works it’s fine it’s great it worked for me right eventually you’ll get to a point where you study so much stuff you’ll start to look back on the stuff you study the first and you were like well that’s old that’s old stuff that’s not that’s not what we can use now we’ve evolved but I was thinking about it yesterday especially when Nick was talking about you know being aware of yourself and I was thinking jeez you know this is just this kind of path that we’re all going on so what I’d like to do for you today and I kind of weird esoteric way and I know you guys come here like with your notepads cuz you want to like what time you want text and you know what what do I say and what’s the best place to take a girl on a date and I and I know that but what I really want to do for you guys this weekend and I’m super lucky that that I’m able to do this fairly early on is I want to give you a little bit of an overview so that you can look at all of these guys that are all gonna come and speak on on tremendously different topics with tremendously different viewpoints and be able to look at it and realize that it’s all valid you know Robby Cramer said something yesterday I completely disagreed with but at the same time I saw exactly where he’s coming from I knew that that works for him perfectly and I think about the stuff that I’ve experienced where you know what it’s right but it doesn’t work for me but it did work for me but it doesn’t work for me anymore so there’s gonna be points in time where things are gonna work for you and when they stop working for you then it’s time to move on right if it doesn’t work for you maybe it’s not working for you yet every time I do a style session every time I take some guy out chopping he always says to me sometimes it’s more overt sometimes it’s more like a little bit laid-back they always say you’re not gonna like I don’t really have to do the whole suit tie thing do I no of course not because you’re not me right this is my demonstration of what I’m capable of or what I like or what happens to be in that moment for me what I want to do is I want to give you guys that thought in your head where you look at all these guys that are teaching all these different things and say hey what works for me what would I like what do i resonate most with and come to think you know this is an actual thing this is a this is a decision that I have to make and I’m gonna try it all out at art of the play but play we have three main rules we start with these three rules and and like the first one is have fun enjoy the process have fun because if you’re not having fun in all honesty you’re you’re a you’re not gonna enjoy the changes that you’re making and B if you face difficulty you’re just not going to stay with it like whatever you guys ever gotten to that point where you like or maybe you’re cooking something or maybe you’re building a model or you’re doing something and it gets really really hard and then you’re just like yeah this is so stupid this isn’t enjoyable I don’t want to do this especially when it’s something that you’re doing specifically because you enjoy it right if you’re if you’re doing something because it enjoy I don’t I don’t really kind of subscribe to the mentality that you should not enjoy work that you should work you know the difference between work and fun is very you know it’s debated what’s the difference between hobby and work and I don’t really believe in work I don’t really like it I don’t I enjoy doing exactly what I want to do a lot of the people you know that really enjoy work that put their nose to the grindstone feel differently about work than I do I think of work that’s like you’re going to a job for 40 hours a week so you can earn money so you can pay for the things that you actually want to do I don’t believe in that I think that’s nonsense I think that’s entirely a waste of life I think it’s this mentality that’s been created by people that are that are very unhappy with their lot in life and they are trying to make you feel like you should be doing it too and I don’t believe that and I stand here and every time I like every day that passes it is a is a testament to the fact that you can just get by by doing what you like and hanging out with people that you like and spreading that around I very much do you believe that I’ve gone on a little bit of a tangent but I believe that all of this stuff that you’re going to be doing when you when it comes to like saying that you want to change with women or you want to be better than with women or you want to improve yourself all of that stuff is going to come from honesty and first I’d like to give you a couple of examples of situations or elements of your kind of journey with women that can be that I’m trying to say that can be totally different that could be one approach or another like in director Tori you know the question of in direct versus indirect what which which one do i do what do I owe it’s what’s better and then I want to talk about why we have a responsibility to do those things and to investigate those things right so so I started off by saying that there are a lot of these different elements there are a lot of these different different ways to achieve the same stuff right so when I first started it was art it was the style life stuff which is all you know the neil strauss stuff which is you you’re open or is in direct with the time constraints and sudden I got to get back to my friends but who lives more women or men right and that worked for me maybe you guys have tried that that works for you maybe it doesn’t work for you it’s a pretty reliable way to open somebody giving them a false time constraint saying I’m gonna go up to this woman I am a stranger so she’s gonna start you know maybe question what’s going on she’s gonna say what what are the two questions yes who is this and how long is he gonna be here for so you give a false time constraint you say hey I can only stay for a couple seconds but then I’m gonna get yeah then I get back to my friends but oh who lives more aware men there’s your opener the reason I ask is because there’s your background you filled it all it this is great that’s very very valid as a coach that has taught for eight years I think it is a very basic and beginner way to do it but that does not mean it’s not valid it doesn’t mean I don’t do the same thing I was out with my student in Detroit this weekend and he had this belief he said oh I was talking to this girl at the gym she found out she was 19 I don’t know it’s gonna go cuz I think she’s too young for me nope does anybody here know how young too young for you is yep like 17 and 5/6 that’s how young too young is so we were talking about it and and you know in my position I can say I’m in a voice of authority this is this is how it is as a majority women prefer older men obviously it’s not true all the time but as a majority I’d be willing to stake my reputation on that so I leaned back behind me and I said hey cute girl that is sitting here and I I I did for my own amusement say hey quick question but then I got you back to my conversation on the whole do you think women prefer older man or younger man and now we talked about it and and there you go so indirect that’s fine is that my opener of choice no if I saw a woman across the the room and I was struck by her beauty would that be my opener of choice maybe probably not for me right now I went through that phase where I did that indirect over indirect body language in drag verbal boom done worked cool how about direct body language indirect opener where I’m going up to a woman I’m making solid eye contact with her I’m standing up shoulders back chest out stomach in China and I’m saying an indirect opener I excuse me but maybe I’m giving I’m I’m projecting directness with my body I’m projecting sexuality right 87% of what we say what we communicate I should say what we communicate to somebody’s nonverbal right I think and watch the video Adam Lyons put online a long time ago where he said so let me get this straight you’re gonna walk from that side of the bar all the way to the two cute girls over there and then you’re gonna open them indirect and they’re not gonna know that you’re there because they’re cute pretty standard right pretty obvious they’re gonna know that so why not project sexuality in some way but maybe for some people they’re protecting themselves by being indirect maybe some people just want to know something that’s indirect right Neil Strauss has never never waste a question on yourself or on your friends or the Internet pardon me because you can waste it on a hot girl does that make it in genuine no but then we step into being direct I coached with saucer day game Sasha day game has a great phrase where he says if you’re being indirect if you’re not telling a woman or projecting to a woman that you’re there because you want to fuck her because you’re attracted to her that you’re hiding that purpose you’re a pussy fuck that’s true too right if you’re walking up to a woman and you’re actively trying to hide the fact that you’re attracted or that that’s why you’re there jeez that’s kind of messed up as well but then on some hands socially it’s more acceptable to hide that or not hide it but pull it back a little bit reel it back a little bit and in a lot of cases you’ll eventually get to a situation where you’re so socially adept you realize that you shouldn’t be expressing your sexuality verbally and that it’s actually more attractive to build that pressure right if you guys ever been in a situation where like like maybe in middle school right your friend says hey Alyssa likes you and I told her that you liked her so you got to go talk to her and then he’s like hey listen come over and then you’re standing there with her and there’s that tension and you’re like we’re gonna tension is so bad eventually you’ll get to that point the reason it’s bad it’s cuz you don’t control it eventually you go to that point where you control that tension you control the pressure that sexual pressure with a woman and then it’s like the best thing in the world and that’s what builds that sexual tension but unfortunately that sexual tension in that case is released when you confess to her your attraction for so where’s the line right now I’m at a point where if I’m going to approach a woman I’m gonna look at that woman I’m gonna breathe in and I’m gonna feel my body I’m gonna feel exactly what I think about it right because men go through these four this four phase thing where they see a girl and they go oh my god it’s a girl and our body’s like release testosterone and endorphins and and all this shit where her body’s cool then we we notice about her what we think is really attractive that’s where the honesty with ourselves and with awareness comes in which is so important which I actually want to talk about in a little bit we noticed something about her we noticed like the way she walks and how its elegant how she looks like she’s out of a movie or or the brilliant color of her shirt matches her eyes or doesn’t match her eyes maybe it’s just brilliant maybe it’s something fitting her in a way that just drives us crazy or maybe she’s got big tits and we’re gonna put big tits they’re all valid they’re all perfectly valid and honest but then we go oh we can’t say that because if we say that she won’t like us or it’ll be the wrong thing or I didn’t read in a book or she will be offended and then we give her some bullshit like you’re really pretty or like your shoes or some nonsense like that some distillation of what you actually mean now I’m at a point where I really take into account exactly what I’m thinking right I found out exactly what it is that I like about her that I’m attracted to whatever it is and then I go when I tell her oh yeah what if we get ejected what if she doesn’t like that what if it’s the wrong thing exactly exactly what if it is the wrong thing what if you don’t like the right thing about her to make you like her what if she goes you like my eyeshadow that’s really stupid maybe but you know what by going out on that limb by being willing to express to her how you feel regardless of trying to get something right getting numbers getting laid getting dates not trying to get any of that stuff we’re going out there and we’re just giving that feeling tour you’ll come to find that you’re actually way less likely to get rejected you’re way less likely right what was the authorize to use I was in LA oh you know you guys ever remember the best friend test from the game it’s whether you’re talking to two girls and you’re like hey you want to see the best friend test and then you turn to one girl and say do you guys use the same toothpaste and if they look at each other the best friends and then somehow you talk about that and apparently that’s interesting buddy that all its time because that’s what an authority figure said hey this is a good thing to do to make girls like you Horta to keep a conversation going with the girl so it worked it was fine it was great but that one time when she was at oh yes another guy said that to us earlier tonight actually I was like oh fuck and I wasn’t like oh fuck I just screwed it up with this girl I’m like oh fuck it’s burned it’s burnt I can’t use that anymore right hi guys Gareth here at a completely separate time but in the same place we’ve worked out a great special treat for you which you can access by clicking the link below thanks for watching keep going so what you’ll find is that stuff happens all the time hey you’re really pretty hey you’re beautiful can I buy you a drink the reason why those things are like super shitty and then like will get you rejected is because girls hear them all the time because their distillation zuv what you’re actually thinking if you go up to a girl and she’s got amazing green eyeshadow that’s sparkly and she’s like wearing a t-shirt and jeans but she’s like dumb for makeup and something if you go if you go over and you think wow your makeup is incredible you look so put together you look like you’re a dancer but you have this very like daily look and it’s such a contrast that I think is very beautiful that’s gonna blow our mind but some of us don’t have that practice some of us get worried about that if you go up to her and you just go wow that’s gonna be just as good right cuz that’s radical honestly your adequacy is the most important part and a lot of you guys are like dead scared of that very scared at this point in your journey which is totally acceptable so for some of you I can say this is what you do and you’re just like oh my gosh this is amazing I’m gonna go do it right now for others of you the reason why I’m talking about this in such circles is because that is just as valid as going over to a girl and saying hey guys quick question then I got to get back to my friends who lies more women are mad but understand that there is no right that’s something that I had to learn after eight years of doing this I had to learn that there is no right there are things that are appropriate for situations but also there are things that are appropriate for you at different situations all the time another great example is escalation right Liam Liam I cry maybe you guys have seen that the 21 convention video he talks about physical escalation and he’s great rapid physical escalation awesome stuff never used most of it at all I’ve never done that I just never even thought for those of you that do know me you probably know me from my text to sex stuff in which I use language to turn a girl on so much that we can skip a lot of the social conventions the whole point was that I used language over text to turn a girl on so much she’ll just skip the first date and she’ll just be like yep I’m coming over whatever right that was really that was like 2008 that was before we even really had smartphones I had a program called text to sex out there where like like one of the subjects was talking about like how long to make your message because she might not have as much data or get charged per text might like that’s how fucking long ago that was and then they came out with tinder and now apparently all you got to do is Netflix and chill and I was like but I did I thought okay alright so this physical escalation for me was never really a thing and it wasn’t because I I thought it wasn’t useful or whatever it was just because I born out of necessity because I was going in and I was working so much on language that I was focused so much in language that I didn’t even think about the whole physical aspect I mean you know I at that time I knew about kiss conditioning which is like tetra girl enough so when you gives her it’s not weird but like for me I just would go in and I’d be like alright now we’re talking about stuff now we’re making a slow transition to sexuality or a quick transition into sexuality and physical isolation is great obviously I do it all the time I love it it’s a very valid thing you can do it without even verbal escalation but but for me I don’t need to touch a girl to be able to talk to her about literally having sex and until she’s like oh let’s just get out of here let’s just go right now so so I was seeing this thing where Liam had the right answer and I had the right answer and you know it’s cool about that putting those two together is also the right answer so there’s all these different ways there’s all these different varieties of things like openers things I mean even conversation technical dhv stories right a lot of the case for dhv stories saying things demonstration of higher value stories that demonstrate that you are somebody to be chosen if you guys don’t know the case of for dhv stories is great too they’re totally valuable who doesn’t like hearing a person talk about interesting shit I ran with the Bulls this summer like in fucking Pamplona people loved talking about that because it’s so interesting but there are some schools of thought that are like oh you got to learn dhv stories and then there’s other completely valid points of view from other PUA companies or seduction companies or whatever they want to call themselves that are like now you’re trying to entertain you’re trying to demonstrate higher value any time you’re trying to do something it’s not gonna go right right first rule being cool don’t try to be cool first rule being funny don’t try to be funny oh shit now what so now what is the answer now that I’ve taken evidence and said to you all very boldly that it all works so don’t worry about learning any of it what is the answer the answer is honesty whatever honesty it is whatever it applies to so in your opener maybe you want to know who lies more women or men maybe you want to get an opinion maybe you want to tell that girl she’s a knockout maybe you want to walk over to that girl and say hey I have no idea what to say to you but you know what I want to talk to you you’ve got a great look or you look like you’re having fun or you look like my future wife I was just thinking about that I was just fantasizing about that you look so interesting we just have a perfect relationship in my fantastical version of you it make us really really smart when he was saying people for the most thing you said at the beginning of relationships you’re not dating that person you’re dating your fantasy image of that party yeah totally totally 100% we can use that to our advantage though it can be a disadvantage but we can use that to our advantage Brent yesterday was talking about the idea that to get away from neediness to get away from want I think there’s two ways to deal with want well you’re getting you know cuz he said you know wanting too much or needing too much the key is not want or need the key is too much the important part is too much there are two ways to deal with that number one stop doing it avoid it or number two embrace it fully because you know what creepy is creepy is trying to get something after someone has already indicated they don’t want to give it to you that’s what creepy is if I’m sitting now with the girl and I’m like hey let’s have anal sex tonight and she’s like oh you’re a fucking weirdo that could go one of two ways I could drop it and say oh sorry that was totally miscalibrated of me but if I say oh come on come on let’s do it let’s do it come on let me do it come on you never let me do it then suddenly I’m creepy that’s the difference between creepy and something else I don’t know why I said that the trick is honesty so yeah so we were talking about Brent’s stuff I agree I learned at the very beginning to just avoid it pretend like what was it just pretend like you’re already sleeping a bunch of girls I think the things that I used to do number one were visualize getting a blowjob while you’re talking to a girl and then the other thing was pretend in your mind to yourself visualize that you actually can’t sleep with that girl tonight because you’ve got another girl at home waiting for you right there’s one way to do it what about completely embracing it Casanova one of my favorite people in the entire planet if you haven’t read history of my life go and do it obviously rent the abridged version or buy the abridged version but he when I read that book I just saw a guy that was obsessed with being in love that was always in love and that’s what I was I didn’t want to hide it I didn’t want to pretend I wasn’t in love and and I did but as I got better at this I realized that you know what we shouldn’t pretend anything we should just go for it 100% go for it I was sitting at a restaurant in Austin with a girl that worked at a gentlemen’s club there that became a good friend of mine for a while and she said the thing about you is that you love every woman because I very sincerely believe there is something to love in every woman there is something sometimes it’s like quite a bit farther than the physical appearance but there’s something to love about every woman and if you find that she explained to me she said you love every woman so women want to be loved by you can you imagine if that girl loved every guy in the club except you that’s where a lot of the play it cool where a lot of the negging comes from because all the hot guys are trying to or all the guys are trying to get with the hot girls but if you’re the one that’s like so what’s so special about you then superficially she goes oh I got a I got to fix that so I was I had this mentality where I was saying geez why hide it just embrace it embrace every aspect of it unashamedly do it so that you are embracing everything that you’re feeling and just shooting it right at her you’re not trying to get anything from her the problem is when you try to get stuff from her you’re like you’re beautiful you’re amazing you’re incredible we will you go out with me that’s when things go wrong when you say you’re beautiful you’re incredible I love you you’re wonderful this conversation is amazing I want to take you out every day let’s go to Italy let’s get married let’s fuck it let’s let’s assume convention we’ll get married right now we’ll have a billion babies we’ll live in some weird cavern on our own it’ll be fine it’ll be perfect she’s not thinking oh this guy wants to have babies too quickly she’s thinking wow what an amazing emotion what an amazing situation but that’s not for everybody and it’s also not maybe not where you’re at right now so how do we look back onto where we are at it or with our journey as we bring back that concept of honesty honesty in your approach honesty and what you want honesty and where you’re going all of the guys that are good at this stuff that good teaching that you have that have sustainable results that have replicable results and repeatable results they all teach honesty you will find that that all of the stuff in the media about pickup artists being like shitty rapists and date rapists and stuff they do not teach honesty honesty happens in every aspect right not just about being honest with how attracted you are to a woman but being honest about being awkward being honest about being nervous with a woman when’s the last time you told the girl you were nervous or you were like oh I better hide from her the fact that I’m nervous so she’ll think I’m cool do you know how successful you guys are at hiding that you’re nervous like 0% you know how successful I am hiding that I’m nervous not at all not at all successful right women and and women and gays and people that work with children are alike twice as good at interpreting nonverbal communication as we are that means when you’re going yeah the party was really fun she doesn’t believe it at all yeah the party was really fun what she sees is no wasn’t fun party so when you’re like oh yeah totally so at ease right now she’s getting oh geez oh of course and it rubs off on her right when you forget what to say right students all right we have this rule in my boot camps you’re not allowed to ask me what to say to that girl cuz hey if you don’t remember what I told you what I suggested to you what we worked on in the beginning you have to go say hey I don’t know what I’m supposed to say to you but I’m here to talk to you I’m a little bit nervous about that calling it out right James Marshalls taught me James sorry it sounded like I said James Marshalls James Marshall Tommy that awkwardness or he has this phrase awkwardness is two people pretending something isn’t awkward all right great active oh shit it’s not just awkward right uma thurman and what’s at pulp fiction it’s like you know how good it is I’m two people can just sit together and shut the fuck up yeah super nice quiet can be nothing quiet can be awkward quiet can be sexual why it can be tension the tension can be good that’s great that honesty telling a girl you’re nervous telling a girl you’ve had a divorce telling a girl you have kids telling a girl you have an STD being honest in that some of those you know may not be helpful but but that honesty is where you’re going to make the most traction if you’re trying to hide something because you think she won’t like it so if you’re trying to hide some part of you because you think she won’t like it even if it’s just being honest with her right I just I’m using opener as an example just because it’s so ever-present for everybody right if you’re trying to hide something like you’re nervous or that you like her boobs right when a woman you know what’s happens if you see like a woman who’s like a 10 and she’s like on tall heels and she’s got tiny dress and she’s got big fake bolt ons if you walk up to that woman and you tell her she’s got excellent posture if that woman has a high level of social skill meaning she’s not just like thank you cuz you’re not like the owner of the club and that woman has a high level of social skill you’ve just demonstrated quite a bit of value because you’ve told that girl wow I really fucking like your body but you’ve also shown her hmm but I know how to talk about it but I also want you to know that I like your body and that I know how to talk about it right oh fuck there’s like a billion levels to that right so what is that at the core that’s honesty so so so important all of the guys that are good at teaching but all of these guys that you’ve seen will teach you honesty sometimes they will give you a line that is honest to them that may not be honest to you but look a little bit deeper in that to find where that honesty comes from so for instance if I say hey guys quick question then I got to get back to my friends I got this buddy and he’s got a box of stuff from his ex-girlfriend’s now his girlfriend president girlfriend just found it or his wife just found it and she freaked out and set fire to it and now he’s freaking out because they actually invaded his privacy B she destroyed his property and C now he doesn’t have that stuff do you think a guy should even have that stuff I wasn’t no prising like eight years ago right if you said that that would be a lie right so we can’t talk about that right you can’t talk about a lie we can’t talk about oh that would be in genuine and then she would hold that be okay well what if instead of saying I have this buddy what did you just say hey what do you think about the situation where a guy has and then tell the story suddenly it’s true so now it should work right look into it look into a situation whether it be a routine whether it be a way to touch a woman whether it be a verbal communication will there be an opener whether it be an extraction excuse no matter what it is look into it and find what you can bring to yourself what what what what part of yourself can you bring to that element because that’s where you’re going to get success that is the best way to apply all of this stuff because you will get conflicting information right yesterday Robbie said don’t text that often I completely disagree with that text all the time I’ll send a billion text to a girl’s unlimited numbers because the because the trick is for me it’s not about how many times you’re texting it’s about what you’re saying right and if what you’re saying isn’t super great or what you’re saying isn’t motivated by text or that you’re not comfortable texting that much you’re not gonna be saying the right things and then it becomes an issue about not saying the right things it doesn’t have anything to do with how often you’re texting right so this stuff is so so so important and yesterday when I had this whole big speech planned out for you I had tentatively called it what we a women and it was the idea that a lot of guys are really trying to hide and not confronting why it is that they want to do this stuff but I wanted to take it a step further and I wanted to suggest that the the idea of being honest is what we owe women we owe them that dignity we owe them that respect because otherwise we’re not being honest with ourselves we’re not being honest with ourselves and bad things can happen but that’s a bit of a tangent what we owe to women is the concept of accepting that we want to be better with them for good and wholesome reasons I know a lot of you guys want to bang hot chicks I know a lot of you guys when I like you like if I said if I put down your goals right now that there be guys out there they’re like I won’t have threesomes they’d be guys out there that say I want to fuck one hundred girls there’d be guys out there that say I want to fuck tall blonds or tens or whatever right what we owe it to ourselves to do is to find out why it is we want to do those things right there are great and lofty reasons I could expand upon about why I would like to have sex with Kate Upton okay a lot of them would be like oh how wonderful it is to align yourself in a sexual environment exchanging emotions and passion with somebody that’s beautiful and I believe it to be like the highest form of metaphysical pleasure but like really it’s just cuz I want to say I did yeah she’s hot she’s so hot right but like but why would I want to choose her specifically out of out of probably quite a few more attractive women it’s just so I could say I did and a lot of you guys want to be with older women or a younger woman or threesomes or hop-ons or whatever because you think that once you’ve done that that’s demonstrated that you are now a different person that you’ve now made changes that you renowned somebody that can fuck hot girls that you’ve been chosen by a woman now here’s the thing I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that I don’t subscribe to the camp where we’re like oh I want to have sex with a bunch of girls oh that’s bad I don’t I don’t believe in that what I think is bad is when you’re not honest about it when you say well I want to fuck all goals is what every guy wants right we all want to fuck about our girls I literally went through my life for the last 12 years never being in an exclusive relationship because I was fucking all girls I was in a lot of open long-term relationships but I’d never been exclusive because I always wanted to fuck up girls then I met my girlfriend that I’ve been with for like a year and a half more than that now and I had a real problem we we literally had an issue in our relationship where we broke up because she was like I can’t take the stress of you being away and being with other women I can’t do it and I was like too bad bitch I’m fucking the heart of the Playboy and we broke up because of that literally and I immediately felt sick and I called up my best friend and I was like hey this is what happened and he was like what and I was like yeah and he was like so you want to be with other people and I was like no and he’s like well why did you break up with her I was a fool so I can have those options because that’s what guys do I have a fucking playboy like I want to always be able to bang but she’s like listen if there’s a hot chick right now like would you go sleep with her and I was like probably not and here’s why not and I was like because you know I got good Kaitlyn I really like her I’m just gonna I don’t know it’s not gonna be better than that I’m really happy he’s like okay so let me get this straight you broke up a situation that was good just in case a good situation comes along and I was like yes I am an idiot I will call you back and I call him I go over I’m back and I was like hey sorry Bartel playboy not out of the relationship got to fix this and that was a year ago that was almost exactly a year ago because I was coaching in New York on the natural lifestyles workshop and it was really hard for me to admit that I didn’t actually want to fuck a bunch of girls you know I have the benefit of being through a situation where I’ve been with many women and all different types of women and all different types of relationships so it is a little bit easier for me to go all right no problem I I know this is better but being honest with myself was so so important so if there’s anything I want I want you guys to take away from this and and I and I know I didn’t give you any bullet points to write down and go use in the future and I and I am a bit sad about that but if there’s anything I want you to take away from this I want you to understand that not only is being honest with yourself and being honest with women going to be easier like technically it will be easier to tell her what you think of her then memorize that line then touch her where you feel like she wants to be touched then remembering some scale of where to touch her but it is also going to be a melee times more effective it’s going to be more effective it’s gonna be more fun it’s going to get you where you want to be much quicker make no mistake it will be scarier you will be at a bar at a club tonight or night in the future and you will think about what I said and you’ll go all right all right well what do i do well see I’m gonna look at a woman I’m gonna think about what it is that I want to say to her I think about what what makes her so beautiful and I’m gonna go tell her and it’ll be great and then you’ll be at the bar you’ll look at that girl and you’ll be like oh that’s super fucking intimidating because of the lights and the three guys around her and the fact that I’ve had not enough to drink but now that I’ve had some things to drink I’m all but sloppy and I don’t really want to that’s gonna manifest as fear and that fear within you can talk some of you out of doing that that’s fine go home write yourself out a stack write yourself out your openers that you want to use in your comfort leading questions and your and your sexual escalation tips and where you’re gonna go and where you’re gonna take her and then analyze that for honesty look at that for honesty say do I really know a guy that needs to get better with Alaskan dogs maybe I should just say that’s the story maybe I should work into that opener that I really think she’s beautiful in some way if you have to stop halfway through and say wow your eyes are ridiculously good-looking I don’t know what’s going on that’s great we’ve been in that situation I’ve looked at a beautiful woman and forgotten what the fuck I’m talking about but if I did I would try to get back on track no I was just like gay sorry I know this is a bit cheesy but I was just looking in your eyes and I forgot what I was trying to say how good would that make you feel awesome right let’s bring that opportunity so that honesty it’s going to make things easier for you it will be scary I hope that you’ll push through that fear but I guarantee you you will come out on top and if there’s anything I can give you for this journey that maybe started now maybe started a few years ago maybe start a few months ago take that with you through that journey and you’ll never be the subject of of that you know the P way bad media all the stuff where the feminists are like oh Pew is bad or whatever seducers are bad however you want to term it you’ll never be subject to that and most of all that feeling of being in genuine of kind of sticky if some of you guys have said some things that feel gross and feel weird and I don’t really like though it feels awkward we had a guy doing an opener on our boot camp from we gave him openers and he went up there and then he wasn’t sticking it with girls and we were like what the hell he was using some opener from some other company that was the I wanna rape you opener yeah well it’s direct right you can’t not be director of your pussy right so it’s like whoa you’ll never get that feeling of sticky of gross of bad of weird when you fail or when you eject or when you when you get rejected when that happens you will always go well at least I tried and I guarantee you that will recover things quicker and make you feel better about yourself so that you enjoy the process that’s it anybody have any questions about anything very impressive I gotta say thank you they enjoyed it just the whole brutally honest thing is really difficult I feel like it’s just like you know you didn’t meeting a girl being you know giving her a compliment how about how she looks you know physical appearance and being brutally honest and say hey you know what can I really tell her hey I want to bring her back right now on bang around spot is that really a practical you know way of applying things is it is it really the way I should approach it being brutally honest or is there a way you know figure out where to be calibrate it how do you have to become really calibrated okay two questions right calibration is a big thing calibration is practice and awareness that’s that’s that is that’s what you guys are learning calibration is just is what you’re learning because sex is a thing that’s going to naturally happen that’s happened to all of our parents at least once okay that’s very very important the other thing is there’s a bit of trick in your language right so you use the phrase a couple times brutally honest right that’s super important why is it brutal why are you being brutal with that one that’s not brutal this is honesty but let me ask you a question if you are unsure whether or not you’re gonna bang that girl on your counter it would not be honest to tell her that you are going to do it what is honest is that you want to so let’s say that you asked me is it acceptable to ask a girl or to tell a girl by being but the concept of being honest that you really want to bang her on your counter that’s when we get into the the issue of calibration that is the difference between while you’ve got big tits and I like looking at them and wow you have excellent posture right so on our workshops we talk about so there’s a quick answer and a long answer and the quick answer is a portion of what you need to be taught in order to figure this out but I think it’ll help you move forward the the or that’s the long answer I’m sorry and the quick answer is just practice you just got to learn you just got to go out talk to lots of girls find out where your escalation is but everybody says that’s not really helpful right the the long answer is that language is a very big part of our interactions with women and a great way to find out where you are at with this woman in terms of sexual development or sexual desire whatever is to look at the language I believe that in order to get sexual with a woman you progress through a series of very notable stages so we start with a woman we’re having platonic conversation okay that’s what we’re doing we’re going to move from platonic conversation into romantic conversation once you’re having a romantic conversation things like talking about first dates talking about first kisses then you’re moving into sensual conversation sensual conversation is anything that has to do with the senses right like candlelight and and and and touch and smell nice smells nice sounds then we’re moving into sexual conversation then it’s fine to say things like how badly you want to do that to fuck her to grab her to take her or whatever the other element of that answer has to do with your intentions okay and a lot of guys teach this as intent if your intent is to fuck a girl before you know enough about her to want her right like I’m so the example that I always give and this is a great question is every guy looks at a hot girl and goes oh I want to fuck that girl but is there something that you could learn about her that would make you not want to fuck her anybody could you be what is it let’s say you I was just gonna repeat it sorry if she has like an STD that’s the answer sorry we made you run all the way over that XT Jesus $8 an hour and he’s running all over the place it’s one of those things where if you know she has an STD you don’t want to fuck her right boom so you don’t actually know if you want to fuck her you have to go through this phase of qualification finding out all about her finding out exactly and and the thing about doing that qualification is that while you’re qualifying and while you’re finding out about she’s getting more and more turned on she’s getting more and more attracted to you that’s where we’re naturally progressing through those those phases of verbal escalation or you know in some cases physical escalation but I find verbal is really easy to identify and easy to teach about as a separate way so together put through these stages are slow progressions or quick progressions but they are progressions that eventually will open up new doors that allow you to express more honesty does that make sense sorry man [Applause] hey guys Gareth congratulations on making it all the way through if you’re like me you’ve probably been washed a whole bunch of these videos and you really appreciate the platform that’s being brought on so make sure you like and subscribe to this channel and for more information on me check out art of the playboy.com thanks again

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